Lately I have been amazed at how many times people use the phrase “it’s what it is” and “what are you gonna do?” but, are most of the things that happen to us what they are? Do we not have any input or influence on what goes on in our lives? Can’t we change our own destiny and attitude?
These are questions that have hit me hard this past year as a family member experiences a chronic disease. I can’t help but think – is there any way I can control this situation or any situation in my life, for that matter? After all, it is my life.
This topic could be argued for many hours with no apparent end result. Some would argue that our lives have already been decided, our cards have already been played and there is no way of changing anything in our lives. Others will argue that we can take charge of our own destiny; that we are in charge of our own lives; we can make our own decisions, and control what happens to us. But which is right? Well, if you think about your daily experiences, are you always involved in situations where an unknown force seems to be in control? Or are you always able to control what happens?
I seriously doubt that a single individual will be able to truthfully answer either of these questions positively. Why? Because our lives are a combination of both of these ideas; I have come to the conclusion that neither of these attitudes or beliefs is completely wrong. They both have strong points.
There are situations in people’s lives that appear as if they have no control over, but when examined you find that the current situation is a direct result of a decision or an activity from the past. Earlier today, I learned that a deal I thought was great three years ago, has fell through creating a bigger financial burden. Now that I have embarked on this self development path I am able to analyze the situation and pinpoint where I faulted. I realize now that the lack of knowledge, willingness to take charge, and the lack of patience to communicate has made a difference in the outcome of this situation.
This series of events have also brought to my attention the fact that decisions have long term consequences attached to them. From the second we awake to the second we fall asleep we are face with circumstances and events that force us to make quick decisions. Some affect our lives drastically in one second and one too many times some of those decisions can have a long lasting effect. But, what do you do? Do you dwell on the bad choices made? Or do you learn from it?
The solution or remedy for feeling helpless is to take control of what we can, focus on a solution (not on the problem), engage in goal setting activities that are planned over the span of at least five years, understand the circumstances, understand your goal (s), be consistent and persistent in your activities and be mindful of your own thoughts and what you allow into your life. These are the practices that can influence the path you follow in life and how much of it you are in control of. When you start thinking in terms of activity, even when it may not show immediate results, eventually it will bear fruit (or consequences) over a period of time.
Think about yourself and decide whether you agree or not; or whether it is worth following the steps to change the attitude that allows you to think about specific situations and refer to them as “it’s what it is.” Think about thought patterns and how specific situations have been handled and then share your thoughts with us. Tell us how you perceive your own situations. Then, follow future discussions about these practices. Think about them and how many you engage in on a daily basis.